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Why ‘Treat Yourself’ Is the Enemy of Your Bank Account
Nov
Why “Treat Yourself” Is the Enemy of Your Bank Account
The phrase “Treat Yourself” started as self-care.
Now it’s a financial hit job.
Every time life gets mildly inconvenient:
- You buy something.
- Something unnecessary.
- Something that sparks joy for 11 seconds.
Your wallet is TIRED.
1. One Good Vibe = $47 Gone
You wake up kinda stressed and suddenly you’re like:
“I definitely deserve sushi.”
Next thing you know:
- There’s spicy mayo everywhere
- You’re full of temporary happiness
- Your bank account is begging for CPR
Worth it?
Emotionally: yes.
Financially: absolutely not.
2. The Coffee Justification Spiral
You: “It’s just $7 coffee.”
Also you: “Every day.”
Also also you: “Why am I always broke?” 🤔🤨
Your bank statements are literally:
Starbucks | Starbucks | Starbucks | Rent | Starbucks
Your financial downfall is vanilla sweet cream cold foam.
You are a latte away from bankruptcy.
3. The Cart Sneak Attack
You go to Target for ONE thing.
You leave with:
- a candle
- socks
- some skincare you didn’t need
- a tiny ceramic duck that “felt right spiritually”
Total: $63.14
You didn’t treat yourself.
You treated Target.
4. Online Shopping at 1AM is Dark Magic
Who gave Nighttime You a debit card??
Nighttime You:
- Impulsive
- Unsupervised
- Emotional
- Dangerous
Morning You:
“Who ordered neon Viking drinking horns??”
You did.
At 1:27 AM.
Because of vibes.
5. Happiness Is Free (But We Ignore That Completely)
Free joys include:
- Touching grass
- Laughing with friends
- Going on a walk
- Listening to music
- Staring at the wall like a Victorian widow
But no.
You said:
“What if I buy something instead?”
Conclusion
You’re not reckless.
You’re not irresponsible.
You’re just:
- Emotionally passionate
- Easily influenced by vibes
- A main character
- Who loves temporary joy
But listen…
Treat Yourself… reasonably.
Not every inconvenience requires:
- Boba
- $90 shoes
- A surprise tattoo
Stay aware.
Stay joyful.
Stay TOO BRO. 💸🔥
