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The Too Bro Grocery List
Nov
Because sometimes you walk into the grocery store and your bank account says:
“Pick one item. Choose wisely.”
But we’re going to maximize calories, vibes, and survival with minimal financial collapse.
This is the Too Bro Meal Plan™, clinically designed by:
- Struggle
- Chaos
- And that one week you lived off cereal
1. Ramen (The Cornerstone of Our Civilization)
Cost: $0.29
Nutritional value: vibes
Protein: unclear
Add:
- Hot sauce
- A sad egg
- Whatever vegetable looks alive
Boom. Chef.
2. Rice (The REAL One-Meal-Fits-All King)
Rice goes with:
- beans
- eggs
- tuna
- your hopes and dreams
You don’t cook rice.
You summon it.
3. Eggs: Nature’s Protein Discount
Eggs are:
- Breakfast
- Lunch
- Dinner
- Emotional support
You make omelets when you’re fancy.
You make scrambled eggs when you’re going through something.
4. Frozen Veggies (The Underrated Legends)
Fresh vegetables?
We don’t have time for expiration dates.
Frozen veggies:
- Never die
- Never judge you
- Are always there
Like the homie who never asks why you vanished for 3 weeks.
5. Bread + Peanut Butter
This combo has carried armies.
It will carry you too.
Peanut butter sandwich =
energy to fight God.
Add a banana if you wanna feel like a health influencer.
6. Chicken Thighs (Budget Chicken Supreme)
Chicken breasts = expensive, dry, emotional trauma.
Chicken thighs = juicy, cheap, forgiving.
Season with:
- Salt
- Pepper
- Delusion
Congratulations, you’re a chef in a Netflix documentary.
7. Pasta
Pasta is recession-proof.
Pasta is heartbreak-proof.
Pasta is rent-due-next-week-proof.
Sauce optional.
Shame optional.
We ball.
8. Cereal
Yes, it’s probably sugar.
Yes, it’s probably bad.
BUT IT SLAPS AT 1:37AM
AND YOU KNOW IT.
Sample Too Bro Grocery Trip Total
| Item | Approx Cost |
|---|---|
| Ramen (6 pack) | $1.70 |
| Rice (big bag) | $4.99 |
| Eggs (dozen) | $2.49 |
| Frozen veggies | $1.59 |
| Peanut butter | $2.30 |
| Bread | $2.10 |
| Pasta | $1.30 |
| Chicken thighs | $5.79 |
Total: ~$22
Serves: You surviving life like a legend.
Conclusion
You might be broke,
but your meals will be:
- warm
- filling
- slightly chaotic
- and iconic
Financial struggle?
Yes.
Hunger?
Never.
Stay nourished.
Stay frugal.
Stay TOO BRO. 🍜🔥
