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How to Look Rich While Actually Broke
Nov
Because being broke is a financial condition,
but looking broke is a personal choice.
Welcome to the Too Bro Image Enhancement Program™.
1. Confidence Is 90% of the Outfit
You could be wearing:
- $12 sweatpants
- A shirt you found on a chair
- Shoes that have been through wars
But if you walk like you own:
- A yacht
- A skincare fridge
- 3 different passive income streams
People will be like:
“They have money.”
No.
We just have audacity.
2. Sunglasses = Instant Wealth
No matter your financial status:
- Sunglasses immediately raise your perceived net worth by +37%
Why?
Because nobody can see:
- Your stress
- Your fear
- Your $4 checking account balance
You’re a mysterious icon now.
A walking “Don’t worry about it.”
3. Neutral Colors = Luxury
Rich people wear beige and black.
Why?
Because when your clothes don’t have giant logos, it looks like:
- You’re above trying
- You buy “essentials”
- You spend Saturdays at art galleries for “inspiration”
Meanwhile your whole outfit is from:
- Walmart
- The clearance rack
- Or your ex’s house (on purpose)
Still counts.
4. Accessorize Like a menace
Necklaces? Bracelets? Rings?
Yes.
But one rule:
Don’t match anything.
We are not stylish.
We are chaotically intentional.
If someone says:
“Interesting look.”
Say:
“It’s European.”
They’ll just nod.
5. Hold Your Phone Like It’s Important
You don’t just check your phone.
You glance at it.
Like you’re too busy for this world.
Bonus points:
- Furrow your eyebrows
- Sigh dramatically
- Whisper “They better not mess up this deal.”
You have no deal.
But they’ll never know.
6. Walk Fast
People who walk fast have:
- Purpose
- Schedule
- Money
In reality, you are speed-walking to the bus.
But as long as it looks intentional:
CEO behavior.
Conclusion
You don’t need money to look like you have money.
You need:
- Confidence
- Sunglasses
- Beige clothing
- Excessive main character energy
Basically:
Be broke, but with flair.
Stay iconic.
Stay delusional.
Stay TOO BRO.
